Sorry, it’s not a sex swing. Unless, of course, she simply failed to boost that particular piece of furnishing to Elle Decor magazine…The glossy purveyor of furniture and home decor nobody but obscenely wealthy celebrities can afford tapped the obscenely wealthy celebrity for their fall issue. Gwyneth was asked what home items she simply can’t live without, and her answers included hand-painted wallpaper, the sacred books of assorted world faiths (all placed at the same level for maximum metaphorical punch, natch), and a bathtub in the bedroom. You heard us. A bathtub in the bedroom. Sounds excessive (thinking about the plumber’s bill alone makes us nauseous), but Gwinnie insists it’s perfect for bathing the kids. Funny- we can think of a few uses for a bathtub in the bedroom, but NONE of them involved kids….

See Gwyneth Paltrow’s sexiest nude scenes in and out of the bath at MrSkin.com!

First, a disclaimer: If any portion of this book, including the dedication, was actually typed out by any one of the Kardashian sisters and not described to a ghost writer while getting a pedicure, then I am the Queen of England. Anyway, ghost written or not, the names Kourtney: Khloe: Kim- KARDASHIAN are splayed across the flashy leopard print cover of “Dollhouse,” the sisters’ literary introduction. Naturally, the book is about the glamourous comings and goings of a “family in the spotlight.” Despite the parallels to their real life (whatever that means for the Kardashians), Kim says it is partly fictional and “you’ll have to decide for yourself which story lines are true to life, and which ones we dreamed up.” We suggest you pair it with Snooki’s novel, A Shore Thing, the combination of which will render you functionally illiterate. That’s ok- reading is for ugly people, anyway.

See the Kardashian sisters- Kim, Kourtney and Khloe- nude and sexy on MrSkin.com!

Ben Flajnik may have come in second place on this season of The Bachelorette, but we bet he’s not too torn up about it. The reason? Jennifer Love Hewitt. JLH is a verified fan of the show, and the day after the finale she tweeted that Ben had accepted “my final rose.” A few short days later, the reality show rival and the busty Party of Five celeb were seen canoodling in a San Francisco pub. Who needs first place, anyway- those big, beautiful blossoms JLH has on her chest make for an excellent consolation prize.

See exciting pics of Jennifer Love Hewitt, including her TIT-illating nip slip in The Tuxedo (2002), on MrSkin.com

Jessica Biel and Justin Timberlake have had an on-again, off-again kinship for years, and Timberlake recently hit the “off-again” switch when he declared himself “single” at a Friends with Benefits press event. But Jessica is not one to sit at home and cry into a pint of Ben & Jerry’s, no sir- she’s got a multimillion dollar sci-fi revive to shoot, one that also happens to star a Mr. Colin Farrell. Reports are coming from the set that while Ferrell and Biel haven’t hooked up (at least as far as the little birdies in the crew know), they do have “hot chemistry” and hang out off set, where they are often seen smiling like idiots in each other’s presence. Could Jessica be on her way to permanently giving the former N*Sync-er his permanent N*walking papers so she can take a walk on the Irish side? Only time- and the little birdies in the crew- will tell.

See Jessica Biel give the naked perv-formance of a lifetime in Powder Blue (2000) on MrSkin.com!

Jane Fonda, the swinging ’60s sex symbol who has appeared naked in eight movies from 1964′s Joy House to 1989′s Old Gringo, opens up about her battle with body image in the new issue of Harper’s Bazaar magazine. Fonda tells Harper’s that after a decades-long struggles with bulimia (“I wasn’t very happy from, I would say, puberty to 50″, she says), she’s finally happy with her body- especially the rear view: “I’m careful that what I wear will show off my best parts, which are my waist and my butt.” Fonda appears in the magazine in a skin-tight, sheer Stella McCartney gown, showing off the body she’s worked so hard to accept. Jane, if we look anything like you at age 73- hell, if we looked like you now- we’d be nothing but proud.

See three decades of nudeness from Barbarella herself, Jane Fonda, on MrSkin.com

Look, Ryan Reynolds. You did good when you put a ring on Scarlett Johansson. The World knows that that celeb is sex on two legs. But you messed up, buddy. You messed up when you divorced her, but we’re here to help you. We are pretty sure you don’t read the tabloids much, so we’ll fill you in: according to Us Weekly, the former Mrs. Reynolds is now thinking about getting back together with her ex-hubby. A informant told the gossip rag that Scarlett has been calling Reynolds incessantly, asking how he’s been, wanting to meet up: “She’s doing everything possible to get him to take her back. Even saying she?s ready to have a baby.” Seriously, do you have any idea how good looking your child would be? Just pick up the telephone, Ryan. You know you want to.

See Scarlett Johansson nude at MrSkin.com!

Fashion Model Linda Evangelista made major waves in a Manhattan courtroom today by asking her supposed baby daddy, French businessman Francois-Henri Pinault, for $46,000 a month in child support. Linda explained that she needed the seemingly exorbitant sum to pay for her 4-year-old son Augustin’s nannies and armed chauffeurs while she hops the globe for photo shoots. Support Magistrate Matthew Troy told the supermodel that her request “would probably be the largest support order in the history of the Family Court,” but didn’t reject it outright.

Of course, Pinault is just about the only man alive who can afford it- he’s the CEO of PPR Pinault, the $28 billion conglomerate which owns Gucci and Yves St. Laurent, among other high-fashion brands. No word on how Mrs. Pinault, aka Salma Hayek, took the news- though it’s safe to say, if she sees Linda on the street, somebody’s getting hit with a Gucci bag.

It took billions of dollars to put a ring on Salma Hayek, but you can see her nude on MrSkin.com!

Kelly Osbourne is the child of one of the most feared lady in rock, Ozzy Osbourne’s manager and wife Sharon Osbourne, and it looks like she inherited her mother’s sharp tongue. Kelly blurted out what must have been years of suppressed hatred for Christina Aguilera this weekend at a taping of E’s Fashion Police- when host Joan Rivers remarked that Aguilera was “stuffed into” a dress she wore on the red carpet, Kelly threw this profanity-filled communicative firebomb:

“Maybe she is just becoming the fat b–h she was born to be. I don’t know. She was a c–t to me. She called me fat for so many f–ing years, so you know what? F–k you, you’re fat too.”

Considering it’s been over a year since Kelly debuted her dramatically slimmed-down new body, she must have been holding that in for a very long time. Moral of the story? Don’t f*ck with an Osbourne- like elephants, they never forget. Not that we’re comparing you to an elephant, Kelly. Please don’t hurt us!

See XXXtina, aka Christina Aguilera, in slimmer days on MrSkin.com!

After years spent apart building (or demolishing, as the case may be) their careers, Paris Hilton and Lindsay Lohan are BFFS 4 LIFE once more. Lindsay continuing her latest probation celebration tour by spending the weekend partying in Malibu at former frienemy Paris’ beach house. Though she was told by judge Stephanie Sautner to “get your life in order” a mere 10 days ago, Lindsay had fun at Paris’ pad until 4am, when she was seen leaving the place with her hoodie pulled over her face. Lindsay then got into a chauffeured car and was driven away. See Lindsay’s matured- she has a driver now!

Party like it’s 2006 with Paris Hilton and Lindsay Lohan nude on MrSkin.com!

Paz de la Huerta is far-famed for being on Boardwalk Empire, but she’s arguably even more noted for being a sexy mess. Clothes just can’t stay on the girl, and booze just can’t stay out of her. Paz appeared in court this week to face the fruits of her booze-soaked fury- assault charges stemming from a recent incident where she threw a glass at reality show “star” Samantha Swerta. While the court appearance did require her to wear clothes, Paz decided to bring her trademark nude panache to the proceedings by stopping in the middle of her security screening to slather her legs with lotion. Alllllllll the way up her legs. Qouth a stunned onlooker: “She did both legs all the way up to the thighs. It was lovely. Very nice lotioning!”

Speaking of very nice lotioning, you’ll need a bottle beside you when you see Paz de la Huerta nude at MrSkin.com!